Saturday, December 5, 2015

Today, my life begins..... again.

The same time last year, I vowed to myself, I was not going to stay on another year with a job that did not allow me to be who I really want to be.  About the same time last year, I promised myself that I would break free from the four walls of an office that imprisoned the very core of my being and give every ounce of my energy to finding myself once again.

Two weeks ago, I finally mustered enough courage and said, "Enough is enough."  And so just like that, I quit. I walked away and have not looked back ever since.

Quitting that job that has kept me prisoner for eight years has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.  (First best decision of course was saying yes to getting married to my best friend.)  As one close friend told me, it was indeed a true choice.

So two weeks have passed and I am ready now to face my life again.

Two weeks was enough time for me to wallow in pain at how people judged me, denied me, used me and abused me.  That was enough time for me to see through the many people who said they would help me out in my time of need.

The last two weeks of my silence has made me see through the blanket of doubt that surrounded me.  Who could I trust?  Who could I turn to?

I faced myself in the mirror and saw only me, and then my husband, and then my family, my children and finally, a soft rain in the early morning told me, there was my God.

Two weeks was enough for me to practice dying.  The corporate me has died and I rise again as that person who God has always wanted me to be - a simple, fun-loving and free-spirited me that enjoy the simple things in life.  The child He gave life to so that I can inspire, love and care for those that really matter the most.

Two weeks was enough time for me to bury all the anger, all the pain and all the hurt that was only caused by me and my choices.

Today, my life begins again.

I so know that the doors of opportunity have opened up again.

I choose now to keep my life on track with God.  I choose to enjoy the bliss of the simple things that make me smile and laugh.  I choose to be grateful at this nth chance to be better, to do better.

Today, my now, I choose to move forward, one step at a time.

I have fallen and today,  I rise again.