Looking back, but moving forward.

There are so many people I miss right now and so many things I miss doing... It doesn't mean though that I regret anything.  I'm just nostalgic.

There are things to look forward too... So many possibilities, infinite bounties and endless opportunities... 

Maybe this is what it means to take that leap of faith... I am taking that leap into the unknown with faith that there is something out there I still need to feel, to experience, to taste, to take hold of.  

I guess I miss the people I so miss right now because I want to take every memory of them with me, just because I can never be who I am today if I had not met them and had shared a piece of me with them in the past.  I guess I miss doing the things I used to do now because I know I can do them again when I choose to when I get to that dream I am starting to work on.

There are times when one needs to say, enough is enough.  When the only way for others to see who I was is to see what I can be and what I will be.  It does not mean I gave up on them, it just means I do not want to give up on me, my life, my dreams and what makes me happy.

Walking away does not mean I do not care, it just means, I do not have to lose myself in all of the complexities of other people's lives, mine is already complex and challenging.  I can't carry another person's burden, I can only carry mine.  That is my choice and that is not being selfish.

I am glad though that I feel what I feel today.  Someday, it might hit me again and I will always remember that I am never going to be the same person again.  Nostalgic perhaps, but just like today, just grateful that I still can choose who I want to be according to my own terms.